What you are aware of/what are you aware of?

Travel itinerary:

May 28: SLC to LAX at 11:15a.m.
May 28: LAX to Taipei, Taiwan at 3:15 p.m. (14 hour flight) arriving the next day in Taiwan.
May 30: Taipei, Taiwan to Chiang Mai, Thailand at 9:45a.m. (Yes, that's right, I 12 hour layover in Taipei).

May 28 in L.A.
When I arrived in LA I felt like I had already entered a new world. I had to leave the airport in order to find the international terminal. Before everything foreign in my life was Spanish, Latin American, the double “rr” and latino attitude. Now, everything is Asian. I notice Asian people more and their foods, and the language and their humility . I am excited to enter another culture, another world, another awareness. Ironically, after writing that sentence I grabbed a candy that Melanie gave me, a candy produced in Argentina... “mi otra vida”. Perhaps it isn't about separating one's experiences rather letting them add to new ones, complement new ones without has been learned and experienced...So, it is all about change and I know that I have to give up my cell phone. Before shutting it off from its service for the last time I wrote down text messages that I had received beginning with today and going back from the life of my cell phone:
Dana: fly safe, you're much stronger than your fear...thailand awaits
Chels: hi ladies, love you, last night was too awesome!
Nate: Happy Fede's birthday. I miss that pizza eater!
Bree: Me too, Amber. Lucky to have known him
Marilyn: I LOVE YOUR MOUNTAIN MOVING!
Justin: We love you, keep in touch, let us know if you need anything
Bree: Move em girl! Then get home! I love you sis
Colleen: u rock!
Audra: One year later and look what you've done...amazing Amber. Well done! I'm glad to have hd the chance. Thank you and much success movign that mountain.
Colleen: Hurray! May the present and your future be filled with explorations, discoveries, and the movement of great things
Anna: I'd wish you good luck but you dont' need it. Go get em darlin
Mel: If anyone can do it its you!
Isabel: hi from san diego. Looking at the ducks and hearing gulls on bay. Thinking of you. Glad family is there with you. Have a merry christmas
Phil: Krisy Yamagushi
Chels: congratulations. 11 months. Love love you
Justin cell: I feel her, I hope you do too
Bree: oh amber, you say the perfect things. I love u
Mick: No worries about the book. Give it to someone who needs the insprirational spirit of Fede and your mom. Love u tons!
Mel: What we call the end is also a beginning The end is where we start from T.S. Eliot Love you guys!
Bree: Lets get beers!
aafede: te amo amberita


May 28: LA to Taipei

I had a window seat and I remember that it was always dark outside, the entire 14 hour flight as we moved eastbound into this Asian land. I was excited and terrified and very aware of the Asian"ness" surrounding me. No more Spanish, a new culture a new forma de ser. The flight even brought different snacks and foods and the hospitality was amazing. When I arrived at the airport in Taipei the hospitality continued as I was directed to the transfer lounge. Here, one can enjoy the amenities of free internet, a lounge area with comfy seats and a big screen tv with a movie. Film:  “Cloudy with a chance of meat balls”. There is also a place to shower and everyone's English is pretty good, and I could use dollars! I bought a tea that came with a free Taiwanese dessert and it was just like my brother Justin had told me, dessert just isn't the same, it was kindof a sugarless flour dough thing, but I was hungry and it was free, so I eventually ate them. I was quite enjoying the lounge area because of the 12 hour layover that I had. It was all fine until I went to try and sleep and realized that my Ipods (yes plural, a Nano and a shuffle) were missing. I had taken them out during the flight and put them in this nifty little mesh holder on the flight and forgotten them. My newfound love of the people here changed quickly when they claimed that nothing had been found.  Yes, it was my stupidity, my stupid act of being careless but I guess I've always wanted to believe that people are honest. It ruined my night and I was scared to start this new journey.  Especially without the comfort of my own music, there is something about ones own music, we need comforts in this life, something that we can count on.  I fear it has started me off on a wrong note and it has activated all of the sadness of this past year and a half.  Now I feel alone in an Asian land with only the foreign sounds around me, it is not music, yet I must embrace it, like I do with everything that has happened, but I will miss my music, just like I already miss my family and culture.

May 30, 9:09a.m.

Oh, would like to have hope, hope in the things I do, in my convictions. I wonder why I do this, put myself in these challenging situations of the heart. I felt this way when I went to peru som many years ago but it is so different this time. I feel like a failure a bit, a lonely woman who is searching for something. Don't want to be do ing this forever, I miss my music, whatever. Don't feel inspried to write, though the Taipei airport already was an interesting mini-culture piece. There were so many samples of liquors and sweets, very cool, though I didn't try the liquors, I already lost two Ipods, sleep deprived on shots would not be good for me.

I do return, keep returning to my Fede. Here I am, I left all that I know to immerse myself in something else. Does make you realize that there are so many of us. Lives and paths keep crossing, right?
in something else. Does make you realize that there are so many of us. Lives and paths keep crossing, right?