Mae Sariang

August 12 was the Queen's Birthday and also Mother's Day in Thailand. Therefore, most schools were canceled on Thursday and Friday. My friends Hilary andRobyn, and I decided to take advantage of the four day weekend and get out of town. We chose a small town about 5 hours from Chiang Mai called Mae Sariang.a trip. Originally we had planned on taking an 8:00a.m bus to Mae Sariang. However, the night before we went to a restaurant for a drink and some food. There was a also a major rainstorm that night in Chiang Mai. The streets were flooded, and so it was impossible to drive (or ride my bike). Since we weren't able to leave the restaurant, we did the one thing you can do in a rainstorm; we had another round of mojitos, then another round, and then some beer; and then we woke up at 10a.m., but didn't get the bus until 1:30p.m.

My head hurt but Robyn seemed to find everything funny and adventurous so I just sucked it all in as well and enjoyed the ride. It was my first bus ride in Thailand and it was a local one. We were packed into a three person seat. The chair of the person in front of me was broken and this woman also seemed to be the only person on the bus who had long hair that wasn't pulled back. I spent the first hour dodging black hairs trying to enter my mouth. Finally, after having almost hit the individual a few times, I hand gestured the "can you please put your hair back" phrase since I don't speak Thai and she didn't speak English. After that was solved everything was fine and we chatted about whatever and fell into bouts of needed sleep.

We decided to go to Mae Sariang because there are three national parks that surround it and we thought that it would be a good base to see at least two of them. When we arrived, we realized that we were traveling, we didn't have to be anywhere, and no one was expecting us.

I was so excited to be somewhere different, truly traveling in a foreign country instead of just working in one. We decided to head “downtown” and find a guesthouse. The Riverside guesthouse had been recommended to us. As we walked downtown we saw a sign: Riverside Guesthouse: 240m. We continued on excited to have been so lucky to have found it so easily. We walked on, well past 240m and saw no signs, so we turned around and walked down another street thinking maybe we had missed something. We saw a lot of dogs that scared all of us, but we continued walking after a local told us in broken English, "Yes, Riverside, cross the river, and then right". So, we proceeded to cross the river but saw no guesthouse. We stopped at a restaurant and asked another woman. Again, in broken English, she also said "Yes, Riverside, cross the bridge, turn left at temple". So, we re-crossed the bridge, got to the temple, saw nothing but turned left anyways. We just kept walking as it started to rain, and finally stumbled upon it, but it was full. No worries, we are traveling, we are flexible, we don't care. We stayed in another place, beautiful, made of a rich brown wood, it was too expensive for a teachers salary but we decided to change the next night. We were tired and hungry, so threw our stuff down in our rooms and went to find food. We found the Sawadee Restaurant. Great ambiance, tables with small cushioned seats to sit on, definitely a place for lounging, very thai-esque. So we sat, and ordered food, Hilary and Robyn shared a beer, andI drank lots of soda water for my rescaca (hangover in Spanish, don' t know it yet in Thai). We decided to rent bicycles in the morning and biked to Salawin National Park which is 7km from Mae Sariang.

That night, none of us slept very well as there was a German family yelling or beating their children beside us, and a Danish youth group who returned from a night out at 3a.m. and all the other sides of us. They giggled and giggled some more like those stupid teenage girls that we once were and that we all work with. The next day the cold that I had been fighting moved to a painful cough but after soda water, and the continental breakfast (two eggs, toast with butter and jam, ham, bacon, juice and coffee for 100baht) and an extra coffee at Sawadee I was fine. Of course, the Danish youth group also decided to eat breakfast at this restaurant. We glared at them, especially when one girl asked us for some of her milk and we said, well, we need it. After a leisurely breakfast ended for us, around 10a.m. We decided to inquire about bicycle rental. One of the guesthouses across the way rented beach cruisers for 50baht for the day. We rented three and then checked out of our expensive guesthouse and moved into the original Riverside guesthouse that now had space (300 for a room, versus 300baht per person). Raincoats, water and hiking shoes in hand we jumped on our bikes and began the journey to Salawin. Of course, the bikes were simple, single speed and old but they had baskets and we were three girls so we enjoyed it. The ride was beautiful through small villages with bright yellow, red, and white flowers lining the journey. We waved when we saw people. When hills popped up we would get off the bikes and push upwards. It was a bit rigorous but we were all happy to be outside.

It took us about an hour to reach the entrance to the park. We hadn't planned the day very well when we realized that the reason the park station was closed was because it was also a government holiday. We laughed, I filled up my water bottle and we continued on to the park. After a lot of uphill we finally arrived. At the park, no one spoke English and I don't speak thai. We went to the park headquarters and locked our bikes and went to try and find some information about hikes. Not many hikes were available except for a wee jaunt of a nature trail of 2km. A woman that worked there and that spoke English (they had to go and find her) came over and was super giggly as she proceeded to explain the hike to us in between giggling and a request that we take a picture with her. (lots of giggling girls in these parts).

She was very surprised by our desire to hike: (“You want to hike the trail?--oh!--just imagine a little girl saying this, very silly like) and escorted us to its beginning. She kept laughing nervously, very strange. We started on the nature trail hike with 15 stations. There was a pamphlet that accompanied it. The trail was beautiful, simple and the stations made us laugh as they were simple and quite uninteresting attractions (a small ant hill, a bird, a leaf, a mushroom, etc) but simple and beautiful in their own right. The most exciting part of the day was when we stumbled upon a spider's web in the middle of the trail with a big spider in its web. I ran under it, first, and then the other two covered themselves in Robyn's jacket and ran under together.

After that we headed back to Mae Sariang, much easier going back, and stopped at the restaurant where we had asked questions the night before for lunch. We drank two soda waters each each and ordered som tom to share ('mae phet'--the only thai phrase I know which means, "not spicy") and shrimp and kale salads. The woman who took our order also made our food. About five minutes after she took her order we saw her get on her motorbike. We knew that she had to go and buy a missing ingredient. It was common here, quite charming actually. I was excited to eat something and when we finally got our food it was so spicy that all of our lips were burning and I was truly annoyed that she hadn't listened to my simple request of 'mae phet', many times. She never smiled or giggled either, maybe that was the missing ingredient, jerk.

After, we proceeded back to the guesthouse to rest for a moment before the bike trek to the golden Buddha on the mountain. We stopped at our new favorite local (Sawadeeka Restaurant) for iced coffees and a fruit plate (mango, banana, watermelon and pineapple). Before we left we asked Beng (the owner of Sawadee restaurant) to write the name of the temple just in case we got lost, we were off. It was a beautiful journey until we reached a fork in the road. I took the piece of paper that Beng gave me and showed it to a woman who owned a local on the corner. She pointed in the correct direction. I said "o.k!, so they all said back to me, smiling, “o.k.”.

When we entered the temple we realized how steep it was to get to the top and decided to chain the bikes and walk the last part. We arrived about 10 minutes later, with sweat-drenched backs and faces. We were quickly calmed and cooled by the chanting of monks on both sides of us. Silently, we continued to the golden Buddha at the top of the hill. He was there, sitting there, left hand placed over the right one, with a look of content on his face. We chatted a bit about the placement of feet; your feet are not ever supposed to directly be pointed at the Buddha and then we saw various Buddha statues in a small hall. We walked over and saw a small frog, jumping. Being in Buddhist thought I said, “Maybe its Fede coming to say hello”. It was lighthearted and comforting and sad all at the same millisecond. Hilary chatted with some monks while Robyn and I waited under a small corridor and I listened as Robyn talked. Sometimes its nice just to listen, as people chat away, just listen to their whatevers.

We walked back down and rode back. Ah, I remember that ride back. I remember crossing this week bridge and looking back at the Buddha shimmering with the light of the tired sun going down to sleep, and then the color of the water on the wee river, calm, somber, ready for a nights rest. And me, content to be in the moment, with the Buddha behind me and the uneven skies with different colored clouds in every direction, in front of me.

Later that evening Hilary asked us what was our favorite part of the day was and I referred to that moment when we returned from the Buddhist statue, the temperature was perfect, I was gliding on my bike, no rush and completely content with the moment I was in, not wanting to be anywhere else, just where I was for that moment. (I a such a good Buddhist at times!!)

We ate and drank beer that night and talked about dreams, and love and politics and went to bed, exhausted. I had dreams again, like I always do lately, of Fede and my mom, and I wake up sad, and alone, but I wake up. To the rain, to another day, to one more continental breakfast. We decided to take a 'song taew' (a pickup truck that takes you where you want to go, along with others who want to go there or other places) to Mae Som Tab and then take a boat tour down the Salawin River to a small village with a view of the Burmese border. We got ready, walked around to find the 'song taew', said our farewells to Robyn and tried to find a Song Taew. The man wasn't there but we were told at 11a.m. To be here 70baht for the ride there. As we waited until 11:30 for the song taew to leave Hilary and I read about Buddhist teachings and questioned everything and chatted about all of it on our journey to MaeSom Tab. When we arrived we discovered that the boat ride would cost 1300 baht. Quite expensive, blood sugar low, no thai, no English, frustration. We did it anyway.

Beautiful ride, peaceful, roots coming out, children playing, a coolish wind, 45 min. later we arrived at a village. We walked through it looking at the children dressed in uniform working in the rice fields, chickens and their babies, pigs and their babies, village people and us, and a Baptist church.

When we returned we noticed all of the trees along the river. All of their roots were showing, so vulnerable, yet so beautiful, exposed. sometimes you gotta let your roots show, right?

When we arrived we were hungry and bought a variety of snacks for 25 baht while waiting for the song taew when we were offered a ride back with the border patrol. We drove back, happy, content, and arrived and found out it was a free journey, no charge! And it was in a four wheel truck and everything! We regretted not knowing Thai and therefore having a conversation with the two Thai women drinking beer who drove us. I will learn Thai, I will learn Thai.

We are back in Chiang Mai, it was a great journey, still need to learn Thai.

Another wooden necklace

Have you ever noticed that as soon as you hear about something, be it a new piece of information or you see something that you haven't ever seen before, suddenly you start "seeing" it more often? Well, if you haven't noticed it now you will...

With that awareness comes patterns--I see patterns--or perhaps I am creating patterns with my awareness. They become the themes in our lives, which patterns essentially are. I suppose it makes it all seem more purposeful, not just chaotic and random.


I am ready for reflection on these (in)signifcant objetos. Perhaps spirituality, in part, is finding meaning but in more of a universal manner, in order to apply it to your reality, but know that it is all universal. Buddhism explains this idea in the four noble truths, perhaps other religions have a different way of putting it, but it's simple: Life is suffering. Not for everyone at every moment, but for someone it inevitably is. Life's theme, it's what all artists seek to explain, point out, make a little pattern--Connect the dots, connect the beads...
and then let go of the object.

The Patagonia tree necklace, Fede's Patagonia tree necklace, the Hindu bead necklace and now this one...
All of the necklaces are wooden, taken from a tree, and then carved to each one's uniqueness. A necklace is made to go around the neck of one individual. It can be taken off, it can be shared, passed on, but only one person can ever wear it at any one time. I suppose it confirms the notion that there can be transcendence in a small object, like a necklace, that can be passed from one person to another. Yet, ultimately, we are all alone.

It is August 7th, one day before another 8th. I hiked to the top of Doi Suthep, the highest mountain in Chiang Mai that is also the location for one of the larger temples in Chiang Mai. My friends Pui and Benz and I took a song taow (a covered pickup truck with built in benches for passengers to jump in and ride to their sought out destination) behind Chiang Mai Zoo where we started our trek. Of course it rained and we walked, and it rained some more, it was great to hike completely soaked.

Benz is married (she has been with her farang husband for 7 years, married for 4--just like Fede and I, well, would have been; Pui is going to get married, also to a farang. I have never been surrounded by so many farang relationships, or perhaps, like I mentioned, I am acutely aware because I was also one of them and now, abruptly, I am not.

During the hike Pui would talk about how Josh (her fiancee) always has to wait for her when they hike--so many parallels in our relationships, in all relationships. Pui and Josh are companions, in adventure, in life, just like Fede and I were.

I was several steps ahead of them for most of the hike. I tried not to stop because when you stop in the forests of Thailand, especially during the rainy season, the mosquitoes attack you. However, I felt obliged to stop and wait for my short-legged Thai friends and I finished the day with red-dotted legs, but with also a lot of good moments. I'll connect the dots later...

During the hike we saw beautifully strange mushrooms on the way, mostly smooth white ones. We did come across a rare mushroom, bright red, that resembled a tomato. It was rare, but alone, no other around like it. Hmm. I wonder if it feels lonely, solitary in its rareness.



When we finally reached the top I was surprised to find a lot of shops and even more tourists. I had expected to arrive at the top of this mountain and find what I usually find at the summit of a mountain: silence, perhaps some wind, and a beautiful view below. But, this is Thailand, and the altitude of Doi Suthep is approx. 5500 feet. Therefore, most people take a song taew or motor bike to the top, thereby explaining why we didn't see anyone else on the trail. It's o.k., no expectations.

The ladies didn't want to make the last trek of steps to the very top, understandably, they are Thai and have done it probably more times than they would have liked. So, they waited below and I walked up, stopping to buy a soda water on the way. After having walked the last 20 steps I paid my 30 baht farang entrance fee and entered. I was one of many at this temple, yet alone, able to go in whichever direction I wanted so I wandered towards "the scenic viewpoint from the temple".

Ironically, at this major Buddhist temple, I was thinking about other moments, not the one I was in. My friend Abi's birthday party is tonight. We have to dress up in 1978 attire (the year she was born) and I didn't have a costume yet. I saw some beaded necklaces that looked 70's-esque. Distracted by the party and other moments I didn't recognize that the beads were meditation beads or that a monk was the one selling them. I was at a temple, it all just seemed normal. And I was more concerned with the aesthetic value of the beads for my costume.

I asked the monk the price of these "plain" beads that would hang long around my neck. "99 baht", he said. So, I chose a color (a simple plain wood, painted an amber color). I took the beads from the rack and placed them on the counter to purchase. The monk said that he wanted to bless them first. He started chanting and I had no idea what he was saying, but it was beautiful and peaceful and I closed my newly moist eyes and listened, silently thanking him and whatever else led me to this moment, this moment of solace.

I always find moments of solace when I go to the mountains. And even though I didn't think that I was going to find it when I reached the top of Doi Suthep, I did, just in a different, unexpected way.

When he finished the blessing the monk placed the beads in my hand, as I couldn't directly take them from them. According to Buddhist tradition a male monk and a female can never touch, not even if they are just touching the same object and their flesh never touches. An object can be passed on but the individual must accept it, and take it on, alone. He placed them in my cupped hands and he saw my eyes, my teary eyes, I know he did, and he warmly smiled. I took them and placed them in my backpack that was lying on the ground next to me. I glanced over at him before I left and he looked kindly at me again, as if he knew something, as if he knew that he had helped. He grinned at me with his eyes and I walked on.

There were a few other stalls selling jewelry but I didn't stop, I just kept walking slowly, trying to be present in the moment that I was in. I saw another temple, quite small, nearby. I abruptly stopped when I noticed something I had never seen before. There are always two dragons, one on each side, at the entrance of every temple. They are there to help protect beings from evil spirits. Yet this temple had something quite distinct. Underneath the dragons were these three letters: M O M.




My heart skipped, I don't know if it was sadness or comfort I felt at those three letters. I was honestly stunned. So, I stopped and got out my camera and took a picture, I didn't know what else to do. I don't know if I would've even noticed it if I would have been here before November 2, 2009, the day my mom passed away.

There are dragons at the entrance to every temple to help keep away evil spirits--just like a mother does for her children. Perhaps I had forgotten that my mother did this, ultimately, for me.
I have yet to see another dragon at another temple with these letters.

I put my hand close to my heart and kept walking. I finally got to the viewpoint. I looked on at a picture perfect view of Chiang Mai below with crisp white clouds in the sky. I appreciated the view and took that automatic picture that one takes from viewpoints and then re-applied my sunscreen on my face. Behind me I could hear bells ringing, they were beautiful, the sound resonated in my heart. I took a picture of the bells, and proceeded, almost in automatic mode, to the temple entrance. I had a "I should go see this temple" feeling, and I was ashamed of the should feeling but I took off my shoes anyway and entered. It was alright, there were too many people, too many people traveling together, and too much gold, too many golden objects--the reflections on my eyes were strong and I felt weary. So, I left "the summit" and I journeyed back down to find my friends and leave.

As we made our trek back down I thought about why I originally decided to come to Thailand, to Asia. The main reason was, of course, for spiritual reasons. To try and find the connection between the moments and the objects that have accompanied those moments in the past 18 months. At this moment I am residing in a country that is 90% Buddhist, and in Buddhism the mindset is now, be in the now, be in the present, and it is the one thing that I am unable to do.


I finished the trek to Doi Suthep with red-dotted legs and now, right now, at this moment, I am connecting the dots between the "bites", I am trying to just let the beads hang from my neck for a moment, and then let them transcend to another moment, let the other necklaces just be as well. Well, I am trying, at least, trying to let the objects go. And that is something (in)significant.